my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
