youre lurking in front of me
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
