I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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