How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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