I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
