that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
