ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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