I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
