Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Randomize
