There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
