I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
