Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i dont even know how to be here
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
