I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
