dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
