I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I can't turn off my feet"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
