Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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