Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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