So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
