I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
