i don't plan on having that self control this summer
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
