I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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