Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
