Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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