We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
