So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
