I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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