I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Boobs are out for the taking
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
