jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
