i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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