My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
