do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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