I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
the day after is always just damage control
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
