did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
