So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Also, beer. Big fan.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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