Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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