OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He? As in you personified your dick?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
