Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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