a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
