She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
