Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
How's work?
Spinning.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
