I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
