I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
