wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
It's shark week go big or go home
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
