yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We need to get me chipped asap
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
