Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
