its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
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