Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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