My room smells like vodka and shame
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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