this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
