Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
