Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Is that strawberry winking at me??
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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