'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
