he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Such a big mess for such a small penis
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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